Wednesday, January 23, 2013

My friends and me

There is a saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". I was in class VI I guess, when I heard this saying. And from that day, I always tried my best to be a true friend. But very often I miss what is "in need" mean. What can be considered as need ? Once while discussing with some people with great philosophy, one said. "need is when some one wants a friend" . Now it was a very diplomatic phrase he said. What I understood from his words is, " when some one feels lonely, and wants some one to share his pain, is the right need". I may be wrong. But I applied this logic every time, and did what ever I could do for those who came before me as a friend.

But some times I feel, I hardly got some one whom I can consider a true friend or a friend indeed. I some times feel, I lived most of time with such persons, whom I considered as my friend. But truly they are not.

Last night I gave a insight into my life again. It was just a day for my engagement and hardly a month left for my marriage. A new person is coming into my life. At this juncture of my life, I remembered those with whom I spent most of my time.

I thought, when does one need a friend ? Dont know about others, but I felt there are hardly three to four occasions when one badly needs a friend. One on birth days, one on some special days like getting some achievement and on important dates of life such as death of some near ones or occasions like marriage etc.

This April I will be 30 year old. During my childhood, only my birthday was celebrated. Because according to Hindu calender it falls on death anniversary of my Grand Father. So, indirectly all in my family used to greet me. But regarding my friends, I dont remember any one ever wished me on my birth day before we joined social networks.

With the help of Orkut and now for Facebook every one remembers others birth dates. But I could remember the date of birth of all my friends. Even today I remember birthdates of all those friends who were with me during my school life and college life. I used to wish them on all of their birth day. But never got in return. It used to hurt me. But I used to think, this is just part of life. Every one do not remember all dates, so whats the wrong !!

A man can reach to any height, but without rejoice of the same, all achievements seem to be fruitless exercise. In my life, I think passing the CA exam was my best achievement. The day when the results got published, I was in such a mood that I could neither laugh not cry.

Many of my colleagues, students congratulated me for this occasion. But those who were with me for more than half of life were missing some where. Its not that I did not inform any one, but none came to rejoice. And within a day or two I felt as if a failed student. After that I acquired some more qualifications, but did not like much. And thought its better not to say about these.

Its always a great pleasure to see an old friend after a long time. Its not just a special case for me. But every one wants to see the old friends.

Last year during June, I had been to Mumbai. I have a friend there too, who was once very close to me. We were sharing rooms at Delhi just some years back. I stayed there for more then 3 days. But the good friend of mine did not find a minute to see me. But when I came back, he did not fail to blame me.

Its not the lonely case. Just few days back, many of my friends were here at Bhubaneswar. They were here to attend the marriage of one of my friend. That friend did not inform me about his marriage is not my concern, coz I too did not inform about me. But interestingly those who used to talk to me very often, just missed to have a hi with me.

One of them used to be very close friend. Some days back we had a talk, and he informed me of his plan to visit Bhubaneswar. I was very excited to see an old friend after a long gap of 3 to 4 years. But later came to know he did not find time to come to me in all three days of his stay at Bhubaneswar, while he was just 1/2 km away.

Some days back, when one of my facebook friend asked me about the number of friends who will be come to my marriage, I thought of counting. Last night when I did count, I could not start with any name. There is not a single friend whom I can name with full confidence that this man is not going to miss. There are some, who may come, but none who will come by any means.

Today I feel a little lonely. Because I spent my more then 15 years of my life with such persons.

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