Monday, March 14, 2011

Best friend now a days..

Last night I was feeling bored, lonely for some unknown reason. A feeling known to every one but not easy to express. Eyes were dull, heart beat was abnormal, throat was choking and a very known pain inside. A state as if tears were ready to come out, just waiting for permission from the eyes.

I had to do something to stop the tears. So I went to the market, sat hours in the park, walked a long distance. By 10 in the night I was tired and was not even able to stand for a minute. But the feeling was as it was. Lying on the bed I started thinking, what happened to me ? How was this day different from others ? Why I am not happy today ? 

Perhaps I was missing some one. But not sure who was that. 

My memory ran backward to the earliest day I remember. A small house where I was born, a place where I learned I every thing I need to live on this earth independently, a place where I learned relations.

I saw my happy days there. My Maa, Paa, Bhai, Didi, every one. All my smiles, all my tears were clearly visible to me. Those silly fights, those huge damands.. Wow, it is really heaven. 

But the reason for the feeling was not that. It was some thing else, because they are always with me. And at no time felt apart from them.

Then what might be the reason ? 

Again I started thinking why this day different. I recalled my school friends. 

I felt surprised, those days, we were together the whole days, from morning 7 to 7 in the night. Still we had some thing new to share, some thing new to talk, but now a days we rarely talk. And some day even if we talk, I feel there is nothing new to share.

But they were not the reason for this feelings.

My college life was good, had a number of friends, lots of masti around. Perhaps I enjoyed this stage of life a lot. But soon after the college life, I forgot the days, and remember them only when I sit with some college friends. 

My days at Chennai, Ahmadabad, Mumbai, Bhopal, Colombo, Lucknow were for very short time. No doubt I enjoyed them, but these days don't mark important in my life, I never made a friend there.

Delhi was a destination that taught me many secrets of life. I enjoyed the cream of having friends, I suffered for loosing friends, a laughed being with friends, I cried for being not with friends. But after I left Delhi, I missed those friends for some time, but soon I got new ways for time pass.

The last days at Jeypore were the best in my life so far. Got some nice students to make me feel like kid  again. During these days I played with them, walked with them, laughed with them, but never cried, not even I left Jeypore. 

Because by this time I learned that nothing will be with you for ever, So get some one for the time being, leave him/her and get some one else. 

But, I was not feeling happy... 

I was trying hard to sleep, my eyes were closed, but my heart was running fast here and there, from one person to another. I could not lye on the bed long, so got up, saw, it was 2'o clock in the night. 

Went outside. started thinking the problem again afresh. What was I doing every day which is lacking last night. 

Soon after I came from office, I used to call home, then to some fiends, then hang on face book, send some sms to friends. But last night there was no network, so could not call home, and could not login to  face book.

Oh dear.....

This mobile...

Just because there was no network, I could not do any thing to make myself busy. 

Really, this mobile and mobile network have became my best friends now a days. With out them, I get bored.....

Now come on, don't get jealous of my best friends...

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