Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Friend - Love - Life

Last night, two friends and me started an argument on friend love and life. These three words are used by us very frequently. We think we know their meaning properly, but when we start an argument, we end up with a number of doubts.

By friend, we normally mean a person who will be always on my side, who will help me at the time of my need. If some one stops helping, he is no more my friend. 

But, helping i not a condition of Friendship. Its one of the attributes of friendship. If some one is my friend, I will help him, I can't stop myself to help him. If  I don't get the call from inside me to help some one, it simply means I am not his friend. We may be knowing each other, but not friends. The same can be reversed and it can be said that, if some one does not help me at the time of my need, he is not my friend. So we should stop expecting any help from him. At the same time, we must understand one thing that, nobody can give some thing, when he does not have that. Suppose, I am in need of money, Mr.X wants to help me, but at that time he does not have money. So he can not help me. And if I still expect him to give money, I am a fool. If I end up all relation with him, then it will be a blunder.

People find many differences in friend and love. I find only one, i.e. attitude. If I keep on saying the relation is of friendship, she is my friend, If I keep on saying the relation is love, she is my love. What ever I say, what do I expect from her ?? Answer is only one, to be by my side when I need her. What I do with her ? Talk with her when ever I get time, meet her when ever I get time. So how can I differentiate between a friend and love ? When I do the same and expect the same, how friend and love are different ??

Every time I keep on asking one question what extra a girl friend will do that a friend can't do ??? Answer is nothing. But I expect more from my girl friend. I expect her to be mine and mine always. If I see some one else closer to her than me, I find the end of my love for her,. now I possess only hate for her. Remove this expectation, and the friend is always with me. Even if someone else is closer to her, still I get time with her and I enjoy the time with her.

Life is full of expectations. I expect some thing or the other from every one and every thing. When my expectations are not fruitful, I feel pain. 
I expected to get more marks, but could get only 80%.... I got pain. I expected to get a better job and to earn lakhs of Rupees.... I could not get that, I got pain. I expected to get love from the most beautiful girl, she loved somebody else..... I got pain.

Suppose, I did not have expected to get more marks, I would have been the happiest getting 80% marks.. Suppose I did not have expected more money, I would have been happiest to get a job.... Suppose I did not have expected love from her, I won't have felt any pain for her.

So life has a simple attribute, Pain for expectation.

Its always very easy to write on board such big words, and when the question comes to perform, we cant devoid ourself of expectation. 

Read the entire conversation - 

  • hmm... love has gone away for from all of us.. now its time to bring it back live :)

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi God is a very practical teacher u know... he teaches us every thing giving very practical experiences...

  • Alok Sahu its true.. i am agree with you brother. those who love life in practical (not in dreams) can achieve everybodies love !!! i believe like this.

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi hm... agree.....

  • Sy-Yun Lai hmmm...to fall in love this friendship is a very good thing made by God to us...":)

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi One of my friends once said, If you dont love, u cant be a friend, and if u r not a friend, u cant love..

  • Alok Sahu love and friendship are different !!
  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Not so much.

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi The difference is the way we think. If we think its friendship, its friendship. If we think its love its love.

  • Alok Sahu May be u r right yaar. Even i too know this fact. But think in real.

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi I can give some prove too. Just answer a question, what extra ll you get from ur luv that u cant get frm ur frn ?? Only one expectation that luv ll be your always.. Remove that expectation, its frnd, remains wid u always.

  • Sy-Yun Lai yeah you right Akhila., frnds will remain always, & it's easy to make frnd. but it's hard to find a true frnd...

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Hm.. True frnds are hard to find..

  • Alok Sahu
    I am 100 percent agree with u. Even i know and all will agree on your opinion. But still at this age i still wonder the definitions of friendship, love, life etc. Because the God in todays generation is also confused to know the relationshi...ps of today's generation. Where "love becomes attraction, help becomes friendship, etc etc. The world of today is very strange. My girlfriend of today will become someone's wife tomorrow. When i stop helping my friend tomorrow he will not recognise me."See More
  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Helping is nt a condition of friendship.. Its one of the attributes. If u stopped helping means, 1st u did nt stand to the friendship. If after marrying with some one else u stopped loving, u were nt true in ur love..

  • Alok Sahu I know what u want to say. But i have crossed all stages of life. But still wonder the real meanings of these things. Definitions, philosophy these things are beautiful in their own place. But real life is something different. U may differ. But truely its my feelings only.

  • Sy-Yun Lai it's really true, helping others is not a condition, also don't expect that if you help someone him/her must return the favor u give...help with all ur heart w/out condition.,& wowww... it feel so amazing...:)

  • Alok Sahu Sy-yun my Friend please help me and deposit 2000 dollars in my account. I m in need its very urgent.
  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Ri8.. The same thing I want to say. What ever may be the relation, do what ever u can do, but dnt expect any thing in return. It may posible that u wont get what u expected frm mr.x, but u ll sure get that frm mr.y.. At that time dnt neglect mr.y, just coz mr.x did that with u.

  • Sy-Yun Lai hohoho...hehehe...what is that US dollar or India dollar?

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi If u r realy in need I ll give u..
  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Indian Rupees, sweety,

  • Alok Sahu Writing in the page and writing in real life is very different dear. Thats what i wanted to say.

  • Alok Sahu What we write here with our big big heart we never do. We thing why we should help him. Who the hell is he.

  • Sy-Yun Lai Oooh~ my God...thanks Akhila my frnd 4 helping Alok hehehe..., may be i can help in other things but not money coz i'm only a student...not like both of you got already a job..:)

  • Alok Sahu You will suprise to know that "without friendship i help millions of hungry poor people over here" they are not our friends. What relationship will you define to this relationship.

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi No dear.. Need is a different thing. At the time of need we ll get help. And those who help are true friends. Now an imp que s 'can I gv u sm thng that I dnt hv ?' obviously ur ans ll b no. So expecting sm thng frm me, which I dnt hv is an act of foolish. And u ended all relation wid me coz I could nt gv u sm thing at the time of ur need which I dnt hv at that time too, is a blunder.. Its a sin.

  • Sy-Yun Lai our money here in taiwan is 1 US=29 NT.( means" New Taiwan dollar") how about ur Rupee=US=how much is change?

  • Alok Sahu Yes u r right. But this is a world of expectation only.

  • Alok Sahu ‎1 dollar comes about 50 rupees i guess.

  • Alok Sahu I am little bit poor in general knowledge:)

  • Sy-Yun Lai hehehe...yeah ur right Akhila, wowww u have a great humor

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Thats luv.. Luv towards the humans. U dnt expect them to return the same to u.. U r selfless.. But if u r nt spending a pi, just collect Rs.100, keep Rs.20 for u, spend the rest, and say u r helping the poor, its nt ur luv, its ur profesion. U r duty bound to help them. U r paid for that. Those who are paying u, luv the people.

  • Alok Sahu U r wrong brother. U r saying whats others say me in front. I m working beyond profession, beyond money. Non profit. And just for self happiness. Thats all. And i don't expect anything except love and blessings from them.

  • Sy-Yun Lai u got a point again Akhila & that is a true love 2ward humans, helping others w/out expecting favor in return, yayyy so cool

  • Alok Sahu U guys are sitting infront of computers and typing so long sentenses so easily. But understand my problem yaar. I m typing on mobile and sending the replies to you. :) :) :)

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi I am a very practical guy.. What I said s wat I am doing.. I am amongst the contributors, coz if I ll spend time in distribution, I cant earn to contribute.. And I force them to be duty bound whome I contribute.

  • Sy-Yun Lai it means ur happy helping others Alok w/out expecting favor in return. awesome u are... u have a humble attitude...

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi I m on mobile too. That to with out touch screen and with outd querty layout.

  • Akhila Chandra Padhi Veda says to contribute atleast 10% of ur income for the poor. I m doing only to follw this. In my language, I dnt luv human, I luv veda.

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